The Power of Stoicism
Do you remember Serena Williams’ meltdown at the 2018 US Open finals? This is a textbook, albeit extreme, example of what happens when we let our emotions get the better of us and dictate how we behave.
Before you say, “this is a “female” problem”, think John McEnroe. I rest my case.
How do you not get hijacked by your emotions?
One of my favorite techniques for getting in shape mentally is based on the philosophy of Stoicism. The practice of stoicism is based on humility and self control and helps condition you so that you don't have emotional overreactions to things that you can't control.
Tim Ferris, refers to Stoicism as the ultimate personal "operating system” for anyone who wants to thrive in today’s highly competitive, often stressful world.
According to Ryan Holiday, Stoics practiced three “spiritual exercises” and drew upon them for strength:
Practice leaning into fear and misfortune. If you are prepared for the worst-case scenario, you can avoid being caught off guard or disappointed. Hard-core practitioners of stoicism go as far as to put themselves into real-world situations of discomfort. You don’t have to go this far, but the idea is to practice being uncomfortable, if only in your mind.
Train (your) perception to avoid good or bad. There is no good or bad to the practicing Stoic, there is only perception—and you control perception. Think of hard moments as teachable moments. What can you learn from a difficult situation?
Remember, nothing lasts forever. Achievements and possessions last just an instant. Be humble and honest and aware of your attachments to things and accolades. If you practice this, you’ll never have to fear someone taking them from you, or worse, them taking over you.
“Stoic writing is much closer to a Yoga session or a pre-game warm up than to a book of philosophy a university professor might write. It’s preparation for the philosophic life – an action – where the right state of mind is the most critical part.” —Ryan Holiday
A good example of a Stoic managing his emotions exceptionally well is Bill Belleachek, the coach for the New England Patriots. Notice when his team makes a mistake he doesn’t get angry or show frustration but the same is true for when they make a touchdown, he doesn’t show a lot of excitement. He stays in control of how he reacts to the circumstance at hand and sticks to his strategy to complete the game successfully.
Stoics continually remind themselves that what other people think doesn’t matter; what is happening around them doesn’t matter. Because those things aren’t in their control.
But we do have control over our thoughts, decisions, actions, and behavior.
Only when you get control of your mind, can you control the way you deal with whatever life throws at you—from difficult people to crisis situations. Which in the end, will make you a better leader, friend and human.
If you’re ready to take control of your mindset, schedule a complimentary strategy session and let’s get started.